The Honeymoon is Over!

So I am almost a month into this year long experiment and overall it has been an eye-opening and rewarding experience. Then last week happened and the party was over. I wanted things. I wanted to get food on my way home from work, I wanted to watch bad TV with no time limit, I wanted to go to the grocery store and buy something, it didn't really matter what. I wanted to do anything but what I had been doing. I was seriously jonesing to exercise my capitalistic nature in some capacity!

I wasn't sure if it was just the winter blahs. It has snowed quite a bit for southern Indiana over the last month and I haven't been able to get outside much. It could have been boredom setting in although I really haven't felt bored. It was a more subtle feeling, somewhere between discontentment and resentment.

So what was going on? Was the newness of a different routine just wearing off? Or was I simply being a greedy hungry ghost? I did have a twelve-day period which could not have helped the situation.(Perimenopause is hell!) It might have been a combination of all of these things which usually is the case. But I think it had more to do with how I have traditionally handled stress.

What I am learning is that when under stress, I typically go for what will distract me the
fastest. Food and TV are the most readily available of course, but if those don't satisfy go
out to eat, go buy something, or see a movie. Do anything to distract from reality. This is of course a common human affliction and we all have done it. And it might actually be a good coping mechanism if done in moderation. But when your distractions are limited, it becomes clear this tendency is more of a hindrance than a help in dealing with life stressors.

So I have been stressed and now my distractions are limited. I had to sit with the ugly feelings, figure out why they were there and then determine what if anything could or should be done with them. After the feelings subsided, the experience wasn't so terribly bad. However, I admit that allowing myself to watch the season premiere of American Idol did help just a little bit!